Tuesday, August 9, 2011

When They Won’t Spend the Money

Sometimes resistance couched in financial terms has little to do with money at all. Maybe a parent can’t accept his need for help, dreads dependency and loss of control, fears mortality itself. “I can’t afford it” provides a good all-purpose excuse.

Or maybe, Ms. Moscowitz points out, what connects busy children to their parents are tasks and obligations, leaving the elders to wonder: “If I hire someone to do what my daughter does for me, will I see my daughter?”

Having money and not spending it may be a problem lots of caregivers wish their families had, but it’s a problem nonetheless. “Money is a very emotionally charged issue,” Ms. Modigliani said. “It’s hard for rationality to rule.”

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