Saturday, December 31, 2011

Reader Story: What My Father's Death Taught Me About Estate Planning

This guest post from Jody is part of the "reader stories" feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes.

My dad died recently. He was a good man and a great father. Just three months after he retired (after spending more than 40 years as a salesman for an oil company), he was diagnosed with stage-four colon cancer. Throughout my life, my father tried to give my brothers and me a good financial education.
For instance:
  • We were solidly middle class, but I always thought we were sort of poor. Often, there wasn't money for this or that. But Dad taught me to be comfortable living below my means.
  • If I needed money, Dad told me to get a job. My brothers and I all had jobs since we were about twelve. I packed rice into take-out containers at a Chinese restaurant when I was in seventh and eighth grade.
  • He taught me that charity matters. We sponsored kids our age in poor countries as a way to give back and underscore how fortunate we were.

But the most unexpected financial lesson my father taught me came after he passed away. I am the executor of his estate. My dad was always a planner, but the things he did to make this processes easier are amazing. I feel compelled to share them with just about everyone I know. Today, I'm sharing them with GRS readers.
Building a team
My dad lived on a beautiful lake in Missouri, which is about five hours from where I live. Every time I'd go and visit him, he would set up a meeting with his "key people". I'd argue against it. "Dad, I don't really need to meet your tax guy," I'd say. He insisted.
I met his insurance representative. We took his attorney to lunch. Just about every time I came to visit, he had to "stop at the bank for a minute." I'm on a first name basis with his bank. When his "Fidelity Lady" called he'd say, "Just a minute I want you to talk to my daughter." I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed for both of us as he handed me the phone.
This is all years ago, when it looked like chemo was working and he would beat cancer. Today, these connections have been invaluable. When my dad's insurance representative heard that he passed away, he called me and had already dropped the forms in the mail. His banker has made everything so easy. "Don't worry about that you can sign it next time you're here." His "Fidelity Lady" also contacted me and filled out half the paperwork for us.
I can't count how many times, I've said "Thanks Dad, for looking out for me." I knew who to call. I've met them. I have their business cards.
                   
Negotiating fees
Dad negotiated the estate fees. Lunch with the attorney who wrote his will was so helpful that I'm still in awe. When the dust settled, I called her and said "What now?" She knew exactly what to do and had all the information to do it. But, get this: Dad negotiated the estate fees as well. He told her, "If my daughter decides to use you to settle the estate, (knowing he had already stacked the deck in her favor) let's negotiate a not-to-exceed amount that you would charge." He then put that amount in a targeted bank account.
I was thinking that the cost for the legal fees would be about $7,000 or $8,000. I had no frame of reference. This was just a number in my head. The fees were $20,000. I was blown away. When I did some research and called some lawyer friends, I learned that lawyers typically charge between 3% and 5% of the total value of the estate. My dad had negotiated 2% and put the money in an account I had immediate access to. Again, thanks Dad!
Planning ahead
Several years ago when he was still healthy, he added me to his bank accounts. My name was on his checks. I argued against it because I thought it was unnecessary and I was always taught that money and account balances are private information. He wanted me to do it anyway. (His credit was always spotless, so I knew there was no risk for me.)
When his health started to fail and then when he passed away, it was absolutely seamless for me to pay his bills. I could sign the checks. (He even made me "try it out" years ago by writing a $10 check to my brother!) I could pay bills on-line. He made sure there was enough money in that account to pay the bills in case his house doesn't sell for almost two years.
Preparing for the worst
My father pre-paid his funeral expenses and left extra money in that checking account for miscellaneous expenses. Again, my dad was a planner. He had a master binder. He wanted to review his funeral arrangements with me, but that was more than I could handle. He told me when I needed the plans, I just had to flip to "F" for Funeral in his binder. Low and behold when I did, everything was there: the places he had made arrangements with and copies of cancelled checks with business cards attached to them. There were five copies of 8x10s he had taken when he was still relatively healthy for us to use in the obituary! Attached to that was his obituary! He wrote it himself.
Even as organized as he was there were about $3,500 in unforeseen costs. It was a rainy, windy day and we needed a large tent and chairs at the graveside. Obituaries cost about $100 a day. I had no idea newspapers charged for obituaries! My grandma wanted the obituary ran in several other papers along with the ones my dad specified, which was fine, but I was shocked to see that it cost $500 more. Seeding that checking account that I already had access to, was key. I cringe at the thought of having to ask my brothers, who are a financial mess, to chip in for anything. Luckily, his funeral didn't become a financial burden on anyone.

Settling affairs
When Dad updated his will several years ago, he asked if I would be his executor. Of course I said yes. He told me that I was entitled to compensation for doing this. He recommended I take a 2% or 3% commission. I said no way. It felt like I would be charging him.
After he passed away and I realized all that it entailed, I found myself thinking that maybe I should have taken him up on that offer. Being the executor of an estate — even a very well-planned estate — took about 10 to 15 hours a week for months. It's a big job. I found myself resenting my brothers since I was doing it all.
When we went to Fidelity to split up his IRA, he had stipulated that I receive 1% more then my brothers for my job as executor. He paid me anyway! He knew the job should come with some compensation and he preserved my relationship with my brothers. See what I mean? My dad was amazing, and this is just a small peek into his wonderful life.
A gift from the grave
I honestly consider my father's financial planning to be a selfless act of love. Despite his generosity, I would trade every last cent for ten more minutes with him. When someone you love dies, it's brutal. Emotionally, and physically. Trust me, you really are in no state to make these type of financial or legal decisions on your own (unless maybe you are an expert). I haven't even mentioned the tax side of it. I'm sure there are ways to save money and do things cheaper.
As J.D. says, don't let the perfect be the enemy of good. Not having any plans is a giant mistake. Do what my dad did. Do a little at a time and refine your plan along the way as you become more knowledgeable.
This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After more than a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn't a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are. Henceforth, unduly nasty comments on readers stories will be removed or edited.
The original article can be found at GetRichSlowly.org:  Reader Story: What My Father's Death Taught Me About Estate Planning"

http://www.forbes.com/sites/moneybuilder/2011/12/12/reader-story-what-my-fathers-death-taught-me-about-estate-planning/?partner=yahootix



"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Austin, Texas

Senior Helpers Provides Many services in the Austin, Texas area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in this beautiful area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.

If you need Home Care services in Austin, Bartlett, Bertram, Briggs, Burnet, Cedar Park, Florence, Georgetown, Granger, Holland, Hutto, Jarrell, Johnson City, Killeen, Leander, Liberty Hill, Manor, Marble Falls, Pflugerville, Round Mountain, Round Rock, Salado, Spicewood, Taylor and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Austin Home Health Care Company.  "

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Caregiver Burnout

Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude -- from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able -- either physically or financially. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones.

What Are the Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout?

The symptoms of caregiver burnout are similar to the symptoms of stress and depression. They include:
  • Withdrawal from friends, family, and other loved ones.
  • Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed.
  • Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless, and helpless.
  • Changes in appetite, weight, or both.
  • Changes in sleep patterns.
  • Getting sick more often.
  • Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring.
  • Emotional and physical exhaustion.
  • Irritability.


What Causes Caregiver Burnout?

Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver's body, mind, and emotions can easily seem overwhelming, leading to fatigue and hopelessness -- and, ultimately, burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:
  • Role confusion -- Many people are confused when thrust into the role of caregiver. It can be difficult for a person to separate her role as caregiver from her role as spouse, lover, child, friend, etc.
  • Unrealistic expectations -- Many caregivers expect their involvement to have a positive effect on the health and happiness of the patient. This may be unrealistic for patients suffering from a progressive disease, such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.
  • Lack of control -- Many caregivers become frustrated by a lack of money, resources, and skills to effectively plan, manage, and organize their loved one's care.
  • Unreasonable demands -- Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive responsibility.
  • Other factors -- Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.


How Can I Prevent Caregiver Burnout?

Here are some steps you can take to help prevent caregiver burnout:
  • Find someone you trust -- such as a friend, co-worker, or neighbor -- to talk to about your feelings and frustrations.
  • Set realistic goals, accept that you may need help with caregiving, and turn to others for help with some tasks.
  • Be realistic about your loved one's disease, especially if it is a progressive disease such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.
  • Don't forget about yourself because you're too busy caring for someone else. Set aside time for yourself, even if it's just an hour or two. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury. It is an absolute necessity for caregivers.
  • Talk to a professional. Most therapists, social workers, and clergy members are trained to counsel individuals dealing with a wide range of physical and emotional issues.
  • Take advantage of respite care services. Respite care provides a temporary break for caregivers. This can range from a few hours of in-home care to a short stay in a nursing home or assisted living facility.
  • Know your limits and do a reality check of your personal situation. Recognize and accept your potential for caregiver burnout.
  • Educate yourself. The more you know about the illness, the more effective you will be in caring for the person with the illness.
  • Develop new tools for coping. Remember to lighten up and accentuate the positive. Use humor to help deal with everyday stresses.
  • Stay healthy by eating right and getting plenty of exercise and sleep.
  • Accept your feelings. Having negative feelings -- such as frustration or anger -- about your responsibilities or the person for whom you are caring is normal. It does not mean you are a bad person or a bad caregiver.
  • Join a caregiver support group. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others in the same situation can help you manage stress, locate helpful resources, and reduce feelings of frustration and isolation.


Where Can I Turn for Help for Caregiver Burnout?

If you are already suffering from stress and depression, seek medical attention. Stress and depression are treatable disorders. If you want to prevent burnout, consider turning to the following resources for help with your caregiving:
  • Home health services -- These agencies provide home health aids and nurses for short-term care, if your loved one is acutely ill. Some agencies provide short-term respite care.
  • Adult day care -- These programs offer a place for seniors to socialize, engage in a variety of activities, and receive needed medical care and other services.
  • Nursing homes or assisted living facilities -- These institutions sometimes offer short-term respite stays to provide caregivers a break from their caregiving responsibilities.
  • Private care aides -- These are professionals who specialize in assessing current needs and coordinating care and services.
  • Caregiver support services -- These include support groups and other programs that can help caregivers recharge their batteries, meet others coping with similar issues, find more information, and locate additional resources.
  • Agency of Aging -- Contact your local Agency on Aging or your local chapter of the AARP for services available in your area such as adult day care services, caregiver support groups, and respite care.
  • National organizations -- Look in a phone directory or search online for local agencies or chapters of national organizations dedicated to assisting people with illnesses such as Parkinson's disease or stroke. These groups can provide resources and information about respite care and support groups.



http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/caregiving-insights/avoid-burnout?page=3



"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Austin, Texas

Senior Helpers Provides Many services in the Austin, Texas area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in this beautiful area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.

If you need Home Care services in Austin, Bartlett, Bertram, Briggs, Burnet, Cedar Park, Florence, Georgetown, Granger, Holland, Hutto, Jarrell, Johnson City, Killeen, Leander, Liberty Hill, Manor, Marble Falls, Pflugerville, Round Mountain, Round Rock, Salado, Spicewood, Taylor and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Austin Home Health Care Company.  "

Sunday, December 11, 2011

10 Best-Rated States for Retirement Low cost of living and modest taxes put Texas at the top of Money-Rates.com's list

by: Mike DeSenne | from: AARP | Updated October 2011
Many highly personal factors come into play when it's time to pick the perfect place to retire. Everything from availability of tee times to proximity to grandkids can have an impact on your decision. There's no one-size-fits-all formula. After all, one retiree's paradise can be another's hellish nightmare.
Money-Rates.com is trying to add some objectivity to what's otherwise a very individualized life choice. The finance website looked at a number of factors to come up with a list of the 10 best states for retirement.
The criteria include climate, crime rate, life expectancy and economic conditions such as cost of living, job opportunities, taxes.
An older couple pose as they enjoy the evening cowboy dance in Texas — Robb Kendrick/ Aurora Photos
The No. 1 state, Texas, outranked all other states with its outstanding scores for economic factors and climate. Kentucky and Oklahoma came in second and third, respectively, thanks to a below average crime rate and favorable economic factors.

Here are all 10 best states for retirement according to Money-Rates.com:


10. Kansas
9. Tennessee
8. South Dakota
7. Mississippi
6. Virginia
5. Louisiana
4. Iowa
3. Oklahoma
2. Kentucky
1. Texas

http://www.aarp.org/work/retirement-planning/info-09-2010/10-best-rated-states-for-retirement.html


"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Austin, Texas

Senior Helpers Provides Many services in the Austin, Texas area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in this beautiful area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.

If you need Home Care services in Austin, Bartlett, Bertram, Briggs, Burnet, Cedar Park, Florence, Georgetown, Granger, Holland, Hutto, Jarrell, Johnson City, Killeen, Leander, Liberty Hill, Manor, Marble Falls, Pflugerville, Round Mountain, Round Rock, Salado, Spicewood, Taylor and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Austin Home Health Care Company.  "

Saturday, December 3, 2011

No "Slip Slidin' Away"

Avoid Winter Driving & Walking Accidents   
With all due respect to singer/songwriter Paul Simon, we all want to minimize slipping and sliding during the winter, whether while driving or walking. Even for those in milder climates, rain and the occasional and unpredictable freezing and snowy weather can present hazardous conditions. The best defense is to be sure that you and your vehicle are properly prepared for safe walking and driving at all times, especially during challenging weather.  

Prepare Your Vehicle
Winterize your vehicle by checking tire pressure, inspecting belts and hoses, ensuring that the battery is fully charged, changing the oil and switching to a thinner grade for better performance in colder temperatures, and inspecting wipers and wiper fluid for good visibility.

If you live in an area that gets heavy snows and you drive frequently, switch to snow tires or carry easy-to-install tire chains. Be sure your headlights are clean and properly adjusted.

Prepare or purchase an emergency road kit to keep in your vehicle. Emergency flares, extra oil and antifreeze, blankets, drinking water, and a cell phone are important basic items to have on hand. Sand or cat litter for traction on ice and a snow and ice scraper are also essential. Learn how to change a flat tire and how to jump start your car (carry a good set of jumper cables) or be sure to have that cell phone nearby in case you need to call for assistance.  

Adjust the mirrors and your head restraint for maximum comfort, safety, and visibility, and do the same when driving a rental car.

Driving Tips for Hazardous Conditions
Check weather forecasts before leaving on a trip to avoid unnecessary surprises. If you anticipate poor weather, build in extra time to allow driving at a slower speed. Travel with your headlights on, especially anytime you are using wipers.

Leave extra space between your vehicle and others since it takes longer to stop on wet or icy roads. Try to stay in the middle lane. Roads tend to be higher in the middle with less chance of standing water. If you do drive through pools of standing water, tap your brake pedal to dry your brake rotors.

Steer gradually when driving on snow and ice; do not make rapid changes in direction. Brake before turning a corner or onto an icy patch; in other words, brake while still driving in a straight line. If you do go into a skid, turn your wheels into the skid and accelerate slightly to regain control of your vehicle. If your car has an anti-lock braking system (ABS) you do not need to pump your brakes to slow down. If you drive an older model vehicle without ABS, you will need to pump the brakes in order to slow down quickly. If you are hydroplaning, steer in a straight line. It is better to skid and go off the road than to overcorrect and flip your car. Just as you should slow gradually, so should you accelerate gradually on wet or slippery roads.  

If you drive only rarely and your skills are not sharp, consider not driving at all in rough weather; ask a friend, relative, or caregiver to take you out to run errands or shop for necessities. If you do plan to drive in poor conditions, practice some safe driving techniques ahead of time. Information and tips, including instructional videos, classes, and a Drivers 65 Plus self-assessment (click the link to download), are available onSeniorDriving.AAA.com.

Minimize Fall Risks
Exercise. Start an exercise program if you do not already have one. Strength and balance are important for preventing falls or minimizing their impact. Exercise does not have to be painful or difficult. Yoga and Tai Chi are two forms of exercise that can be modified to anyone's ability and age and are great for strength and balance. Walking is free and a great form of exercise. Many malls have organized walking clubs, so contact your local mall to find out if there is one near you. Mall walking is a great way to meet people, be protected from the elements and traffic, and feel safe.

Medication Side Effects. Let your doctor know of any over-the-counter medicines you are taking to ensure that they are safe for you. Cold and flu medicines, as well as some herbal remedies, can increase drowsiness and your chances of a driving or falling accident.

Vision. Vision problems can lead to accidents. Have your eyes checked yearly for changes in eyeglass or contact lens prescriptions, as well as for glaucoma or cataracts, which can limit your vision and increase the risk of falls and accidents.
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"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Austin, Texas

Senior Helpers Provides Many services in the Austin, Texas area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in this beautiful area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.

If you need Home Care services in Austin, Bartlett, Bertram, Briggs, Burnet, Cedar Park, Florence, Georgetown, Granger, Holland, Hutto, Jarrell, Johnson City, Killeen, Leander, Liberty Hill, Manor, Marble Falls, Pflugerville, Round Mountain, Round Rock, Salado, Spicewood, Taylor and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Austin Home Health Care Company.  "